p math anxiety bill of rights

p cool math things

p geeky math jokes

p word problems from hell

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This is dedicated to Tawni, a former student of mine…I admire your perseverance.

I have the right to learn at my own pace and not feel put down or stupid if I am slower than someone else.

I have the right to ask whatever questions I have.

I have the right to need extra help.

I have the right to ask a teacher or TA for Help.

I have the right not to understand.

I have the right to feel good about myself regardless of my abilities in math.

I have the right not to base my self-worth on my math skills.

I have the right to view myself as capable of learning math.

I have the right to evaluate my math instructors and how they teach.

I have the right to relax.

I have the right to be treated as a competent adult.

I have the right to dislike math.

I have the right to define success in my own terms.                 Sandra L. Davis

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cool math things

Here are some cool math links that might be of interest to some of you...
 

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geeky math jokes
 

    Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
     Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
     Mathematicians are unable to make the connection.

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        A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a
     street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on
     the other side of the street.

        First they see two people going into the house.  Time passes.
     After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

        The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate".

        The Biologist's conclusion:  "They have reproduced".

        The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then
     it will be empty again."

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  My all-time favorite...

        An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture
     with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest
     possible amount of fence.

        The engineer is first.  He herds the sheep into a circle and then
     puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least
     fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."

        The physicist is next.  She creates a circular fence of infinite
     radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the
     herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around
     the herd."

        The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little
     thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I
     define myself to be on the outside!"

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     How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the lightbulb. Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

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The Exam

The setting is Ohio State University about six or seven years ago in a huge lecture hall (approximately 1000 students) for a Calculus final.

Apparently this particular calculus teacher wasn't very well liked. He was one of those guys who would stand at the front of the class and yell out how much time was remaining before the end of a test, a real charmer. Since he was so busy gallivanting around the room making sure that nobody cheated and that everyone was aware of how much time they had left before their failure on the test was complete, he had the
students stack the completed tests on the huge podium at the front of the room. This made for quite a mess, remember there were 1000 students in the class.

Anyway, during this particular final, one guy entered the test needing a decent grade to pass the class. His only problem with Calculus was that he did poorly when rushed, and this guy standing in the front of the room barking out how much time was left before the tests had to be handed in didn't help him at all. He figured he wanted to assure himself of a good grade, so he hardly flinched when the professor said "pencils down and submit your scantron sheets and work to piles at the front of the room".

Five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty, twenty into forty ... almost an hour after the test was "officially over", our friend finally put down his pencil, gathered up his work, and headed to the front of the hall to submit his final. The whole time, the professor sat at the front of the room, strangely waiting for the student to complete his exam.

"What do you think you're doing?" the professor asked as the student stood in front of him about to put down his exam on one of the neatly stacked piles of exams (the professor had plenty of time to stack the mountain of papers while he waited) It was clear that the professor had waited only to give the student a hard time.

"Turning in my exam," retorted the student confidently. "I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," the professor gloated, "Your exam is an hour late. You've FAILED it and, consequently, I'll see you next term when you repeat my course."

The student smiled slyly and asked the professor "Do you know who I am?"

"What?" replied the professor gruffly, annoyed that the student showed no sign of emotion.

The student rephrased the question mockingly, "Do you know what my name is?"

"NO", snarled the professor.

The student looked the professor dead in the eyes and said slowly, "I didn't think so", as he lifted up one of the stacks half way, shoved his test neatly into the center of the stack, let the stack fall burying his test in the middle, turned around, and walked casually out of the huge lecture hall.

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word problems from hell
 

I've got a sweet tooth for this kind of stuff...
 

A rope over the top of a fence has the same length on each side and weighs one-third of a pound per foot.   On one end hangs a monkey holding a banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.  The banana weighs 2 ounces per inch.  The length of the rope in feet is the same as the age of the monkey, and the weight of the monkey in ounces is as much as the age of the monkeys mother.  The combined ages of the monkey and its mother are 30 years.  One-half the weight of the monkey plus the weight of the banana is one-fourth the sum of the weights of the rope and the weight.  The monkeys mother is one half as old as the monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she was one half as old as the monkey will be when it is as old as its mother will be when she is four times as old as the monkey was when it was twice as old as its mother was when she was one third as old as the monkey was when it was as old as its mother was when she was three times as old as the monkey was when it was one fourth as old as it is now.  How long is the banana?
 

E-mail me if you want to check your answer.

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